Nursery Crimes II

Published on 24 October 2023 at 12:47

To My Sister

Who caringly nursed me from a baby ….

Coca Loca

Totally atrocious

Simply egregious

Time to fly

Locomotive

Light

This little light of mind

I find it to be for the blind

Lightning Comes

Lightning countdown

5,4,3,2,1

Sound comes Sound fades

You shady

I’m Dre

You gay 54321

Rain 2

Out of use

Out of deuce

Rain rain crimes again

Die in vain

Fuck you the same

Little Light

This little light

Might strike

Woody Woodpecker

Woody

Should he

Chuck a nookie

Blow a wookie

How much wood could a pecker cut if he could peck wood

King Jack

Jack n JIll went up the hill

Jill came down

Smoked a dubious and went around

Ka-blam Jack went tup again and lost his head

Jill came tumbling after

Gauntlent

Your gaunt

So don’t front

Okay mont

Twinkle Twinkle

Twinkle twinkle

Winkle winkle

SImply singling

So wrangling

He hee I peed

Nikki Nikki

Nikki Nikkie

Nine doors

Five doors

Seven droors

Sea

Out to sea

You wanna be me

I see this light

It ain‘t nice

Duel me

I don’t think so

Duel he

He will pee

All i know is this world

Isn’t great without me

Row row row your boat

Get a moat

Around the goat

Row row row your boat

Gently down the stream

Merrily
Merrily

Merrily

Life is a dead fairy

All the way down the hill

Till your eyes are black and blue

Merrily merrily merrily

Life is a goat

Clown

You a clown

Frown

Brown

You a sad joke

McDona’ds won’t give ou a hope

Because you so goat

You damn boat

Lightning

Lighting go away

Thunder Bay is gay

Count to ten
Bend

Eggs

Eggs and Benny

Lenny

Heavenly

I see you score

Becasue green eggs and ham

Are spam

Ice Cream

Ice cream
My cream

Sublime

Verve

Wods nerds

Low leve scrap

Bat trap Smackj ya

Trash ya

Lick ya

Ya done

Ding Dong

Gone John

Stay Hun

Be guns

I hide because you cry

Chong Chong

Change

You SUck

Bitch

You twitch

Need a switch

Chong Chong Chong

It’s over

Red Rover

Holy crap Ijust made revenge on my shoulder

I made it

Ding Dong

Chong Chong

Pixie Twixie

FDuck your twinkie

Dingie Bingie Simply tweebly

Peanuts

Snoopy

Charlie Brown

Frown

Down Clown

Humpty Dumpty

Nursery the DUmber

The dumpty

He sat on a ledge

Humpty had a big edge

He fell down

And all around people never wanted to put humpty together again

Matrix

Hat

Ricks

Dicks

Thkning of seeing

Numbers and lines

Controlling the rewind

Yoda

Drink some coca cola

Don’t go sola

Oops

Solo

Potatoes

One potato, two potato, three potato

Four potatoes, Five potatoes and Six Potatoes

All the rest eat a damn potato

Legend of Tarzan

You are a barzan

Eating tacos at a razon

Simply kinding the rest of half time

Soma a Bratina

Faire a chaque

Dome a bratina

Simply tell me what you mean huh?

Cheese

Two cheeks huh

Or put cheese on it

Did somebody say Just Eat?

Marquarita with cheese on it

I get what I want because I want it

Or I put cheese on it

Because you put cheese off it

Ring Around

Ring Around the roses

Or put a hose on you hoses

Ring around the roses

Pocket full of poses

Because you noses

Secretes

Maybe I’m secret

Or secrete

These cigarettes

Don’t tell me I’m done

Because these rhymes

Are nursery crimes

Windchimes

Sucka free when I pin rhymes

Rhymes sound like wind chimes

Or like Little guys

It actually sounds like wind chimes

Dimes or mimes

Felon

For he’s a jolly good felon

And nobody can deny

Unless you lye

Dire straights

Nothing like choirs eh?

Pigs in Blankets

Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin

Till you get my dinner din din

The big bad wolf

Ain’t about to gloat

This little pig went to heaven

This little pig went to hell

This little pig went scurrying all the way home

Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin

Smokes

Gimme Gimme never get

So here’s a cigarette

Don’t let it bet

To Be

To be nice

Or not to be nice

Roll a dice

Try thrice

Slice

Wise it is

Till I get to him

Blue

Little boy blue and the King in the room, dude

The big grey elephant sat by the dude

And his name was very rude

Sam

Sam I am

Here I’m damned

Sam I am

Green eggs and jam

Cake

Let them eat cake

Let them date

Till you hate

About

And that’s what it's all about

Just a couth

Everyone

Everyone owes

Everyone pays

Everyone loans

Everyone is gay

Starlight

Starbright

Just right

It’s tight

Like a bright spot

Or a dark knot

Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Couldn't put Humpty together again

All the Kings Horses and all the Kings men

Just sat around picking a hen

They sat so long

They thought they were wrong

Until oh my

Humpty Dumpty was broken again

Lions, Bears & Tigers

Oh my

Yes I

I lie

Lions tigers and bears Oh my

Till I die

I will try

To be a lion or a bear or a tiger

Like fries

Lie

I lied

I tried

I died

I spied

Until I cried

Mary

Mary mary quite contrary

She bit an eagle and went off to a fairy

To See

To see or not to see

That is the c

Or a question

Mind your P’s and Q’s

Don’t lie

And remember

To be or not to be

Is the beesiness

Yet the beesiness

Is seasoness

And yes

I want to see

But smell

I melt

Oh no, I delt

Some belts

And now I yelp

For a little freezie

And yet I know

That to be or not to be

Is to see or not to see

I’ve already told you

In these rhymes

These nursery crimes

That to be nice or not

To be nice

Is just right

Okay

Baby

Ya Lady

I could go on

But these nursery rhymes or crimes

Need to sublime

And be on time

And lie

Yet again

To see or not to see

That is the question

What question I don’t know

Yet I know

Square Dancing

You do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around

Then you split an eagle until it frowns

Twice around

Vape

Date

Hate
Mate

I can’t believe this vape

Jare

Cutlery BUtlery

Hiterly Nothingery

Hillary

Suck my Clinton Balls

Hey Bitsy Spider

The Itsy Bitsy Spider

Went up the water spout

Down came the rain

And washed them all abouit

Up came the rain and spit

The spider out

Not it’s a itsy bitsy spider

That spit the water out

Butter

Its better with butter

And all the trouble

Double or nothing

He’s clarified butter

Make a yorkshire pudding

And put Jam on it

And jodi too

Luke and nuts rub go

We’ll make sauce

It’s better with butter

Butlery

Cutlery

Mutlery

Fuckery

Huttery

Balls

It’s all balls

Who’s got a biggest balls

Like Hillary said

Suck my clinton balls

Try

I try

Oh I tried

I died

I lied

Now I cry again

Wish

Wish me well

A fairly fellow

But I bellow

Hello

Yellow

Mellow

Okay now delve in

Cherry

If he can’t do it

Noone can

Unless you can guess

The cherry

And be merry

A fairy fellow

But I called it yellow

Sharing

Caring

Daring

Okay rearing

Honour

For Honur

For smothar

Mother

Barter

Call of Duty

Black Ops Zombie

Fuck you’re Mommy

Go home buddy

Put the Pin In

Going in with Lucas

Lucas

Hokas

Pokas

Locas

Focus

Eh Choice Is?

$1 Bill

Smaller

Holla

For a dollar

Okay shot colla

Tell me who is baller

Wife Of Bath

Fuck you’re horny ass

You just go travel like a sasmarass

Okay now buddy

Go to your hubby

And tell me who is more trouble

Coats

Cords and Coast and Coats

Acordion Coats

Try to tell me I don’t rhyme

I tell you the next line

Will be a song about time

Sayings

Come one Come all

To the part of the ball

Festival of Fools

Let Quasimoda go

Jack and the Beanstalk

Hulk

Fuck

Chuckery

Giant Killer

Beanstalk climberr

And alot of highers

Jack Reacher

Jack Rabbit

Black and Yellow

Hello

Sir against

Below fellow

Humble

Be humble

Or Bumble

Sit down

Or go around

Tell me who is surround

Eminem

Eminem Lion Bio

King

Daniel Scarf

Tue. Aug 25

Bio

King

Him

Neil

Heel

Satellites

Satellites or settings

Juices or hats

Sick flowers

Or powers

Skrillex

Dillex

Stillex

Millex

Avicci

Deadmau$

Or dead mouse

Red house

Bed house

Avicci

Reve

SCH

RCH

Ca Ira

Skyper, Gmail, Tik Tok

Movies, Pics, 8 Mile

Mixup

Electronics are wrong

Magic Gladiator

Superman

Mp3

Cords Chickens

To be or not to be

That is the question

Or rather statement

I hate this

To be nice or not to be nice

Wine are eh nice dice

London Bridge

London Bridge is falling down

Falling down

Now what do you do when it’s falling down

Ka-plam

San Francisco is Burnt down

San Fran is burning down

Or well

He’s gonna be building up

Until it rots

San Fran is burning down

All the history gone

George

George, George

George of the jungle

Tunnel

Hunter

Tell me are you a bunter

London

London Bridge is breaking down

Ca ira

London bridge is falling down

Oh well

London bridge beckons you

La la la la

London bridge is burning down

Down down to the ground

Shower

Shower Shower

Power Power

No, I have you forever

Huggies

Puller Ups

The fun of wearing underwear

Oh shit…

Shit…

Moon

Wife of Bath

Oh this trash

Tell me of the moon

Chaucer’s Loon

Bite

Don’t bite the hand that feeds

Just feed the hand that needs

One or the Other

Jimmy Buffet or Tom Petty

Green Day or U2

Bono

Oh no

Coldplay or the Beatles

Rolling Stones or

Err McJagr

Fuck you lagger

Shakespear or William Blake

Highlander Mollard

Blake
Fate Date Hate

Faces

Faces Fading

Colours Changing

Names Erasing

F*ck

You ask me to

F*ck

you

The deep seated trust

Rubix Cube

Build a deck

Scram You

Kings

Kings never die

But I’m not alike

Am I a king

Or just a ring?

Beef

Got Beef

Eh Thief

Keith Ledger

Hedger

Do Re Mi

Hey Bee

Meatbally

Meatballs & Mushroom

Get be dumped

Feel the world

Like a scourge

Is awful

Yet spaghetti is wet

The meatball rolled off the table

Fable

Late Sunrise

Early sunrise in the morning

Sailor’s warning

Nightime’s sunrise

Sailor’s delight

Oh I forgot to mention

Barn on fire

Stupid tires

Delete

We don’t need it

So we can delete it

Suck a little free dik

Easy

Eazy Easy Peezy Peeesy

Japanesey

Uber

Stueber

Duder

Dudeness

Starky and Hutch

Big Lebwoksi

Housekey

Cup

All for a cup

The Stanley Cup

All for a paper

The holy paper

Gladiator

Colloseum

History

Channel

Battle

Tuesday August Thirtieth

I spit the truth

Illest ever

Wayne’s World

Lil Wayne

Or Big Wayne

All the same

Eh, Dave

Lewis Capaldi

Olivia Wild

Oscar Wilder

Gene Wilder

Anema

Covid 19 or Chicken Pox

Monkey Pox or Silly Pox

Christmas

Have a holly jolly Chirstmas

Best time of the year

Santa Claus is coming again

So grow a beard and wear red

He knows what you’ve been doing

So be doing the best thing

Until a tranny pops out

And
Bling Blings

Kramerica Industries

Vandale Industries

Jessica Simpson

Lords of Dogtown

Alcohol

Last call for Alcohol

Shooters are free

Shower Marguritas and Alcohol Tea

Manners

Mind your manners

Forever Life

Outcome Letters

Setting sun

Mind your manners

Got to go over

The rest is closure

Mind your manners

Chiddy Bang

Skrillex

Deal it

Avicci

Deadmau$

Bitch

Ice cream
Or Dis

Ice T

Finnegan’s Wake

Kinda like Jacob’s

But without the dude

A big storm is brewing

For your mate

Kinda like Jacob’s

But without the rain and the storm

Fuck you mate

Finnegan’s Wake

Early Sunrise

Eerly sunrise in the morning

Sailor’s warning

Nighttime’s Sunrise

Sailor’s delight

I forget to mention

Barn’s on fire

Stupid tires

All for 1

1 for all

No more

Whore

Do’a think I’ll bite

The core

Lore oh no

Horror

House of Horrorshop

Chamber of Horrorshop

But that sourpop

Goes well with slurpees

Oh geez …

Shots

One Shot

2 shot

3 shot

4 shot

5 shot

6 shot

Score

Faces

Faces Fading

Colours Changing

Names Erasing

Fuckery

You ask me to

Fuck

You

Then deep you

Rubix Cube

Build a deck

Screw you

Magic dude

Lost Kings

Kings never die

But I’m not alive

Am I a King

Or just a ring?

Humpty Dummy

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

Dumpty Buppety Trumpity Thump.

Sir Thump a lot came and put Humpty back together again

Troublesome

Am I trouble

I know I am

But Am I double

I hope I am

I am whatever you say I am

Green cheese and ham

Star

Wish upon a star

Oh my

You are

So are

What do You

Whatr do you do me now

When do you do when you live in a shoe

Clue or

Do the dew

Dude rude

Tie a lace and make a bow

99 Bottles

99 Bottles of beer on the wall

Take one down

Break it now

Survival

Survival of the strongest

Or the wrongest

To Be 2

To be here or not to be here

I clearly see

Thumpty Turner

DIscombobluated

Hay day

May Day

The Cat

The Cat came back

You thought he was a goner

But the cat came back

And shat on the hat

Rain

Rain rain

Go away

Come again

At the end of the day

Wash

Wash behind your ears

Clean behind your ears

And don’t forget, you’re weird

Mackay

Don’t do drugs mmmackay

Don’t do drugs mmmmkay

Jack Rabbit

The fields are out of reach

And the fields of the countryside

I lie in daisies

I hide in wheat

I lie

Like a damn fly

Learn

First you learn

To walk

The ball

Throw the gall

Then next is to talk

Then you get fucked

Little Boy

Blue and the King of the room

Dude

Your dudeness

Ship

Shape up

Or ship out

Do your pants up

You fucking cunt

Bird

Early bird

Gets teh worm

Late bird

Gets bugger all

Haul the chickens up

Too Little

Too little too late

You stupid gate

Too soon too noon

Tell me its true

Water

Your delinquent daughter

Needs some water

Tell her it's hotter in the summer

Hansens

The Hansens will beat you to a pulp

Tell it all now

bslapshot

Bed Bugs

Sleep tight

Don’t let the bed bugs bite

Fight fight

Dyke dyke

Ice Cream 2

I scream

You scream

We all kill for ice cream

Hiccups

Count to ten

Count to twenty

Fuck up

Ugly

The hiccups ring ups

Now & Then

Faces Fading

Colours Erasing

Names Changing

Smoking or debating

Too

Too little too late

Just because I’m great

So high up with the greats

So close yet so far

All I do is look up at the stars

March on to watergate

American Idiot

Nobody likes you

Everybody hates you

I despise you

Horse

Cart before the horse

Bart before the golf course

Thought

An incomplete thought is all I got

I hope to not

Be left in a rot

Please take my pain and put it aside

So for one day I may be by your side

Tell me if it is okay, that I see you in this way

Don’t tell me go go off off and away

Every day is the same

Get up and dress your way

Tell me though if I may

Have some day

To be put away

Biddle

Biddle Widdle Fiddle Kiddle

Think of me was bumble di ka riddle

Don’t tell me I’m a little off the fiddle

Tell Me

Tell me what

Don’t get me caught

Yoda 2

Yoda yoda

Drink some Coca Colar

Cola

Cola Cola

Bola Bola

Takes two to dice these

Rhymes and trice these

Coca Loca

Cya (Sia)

Cya later alligator

Wouldn’t wanna be ya

Crocodile

Unless you’re in a gorilla suit

Kangaroo

Huffy Puffy

Huff Huff

Rough rough

Blow your house down

Like I must

Chicken Pot Pie

Chicken pot pie and I don’t lie

Why do I cry

At the sound of a fly

ICP or DGK

I see Insane Clown Possy

Or I see Dirty Ghetto Kids

All I see is troublesome

Like in the damn hood

Orange

Orange you glad you found me

Orange you glad I said apple

Orange you glad you had me

Orange you glad I came back

Last Straw

The straw that broke the camel’s back

Oh that’s wack

Trix

Tricks are for kids

Ok tricks or thinking what I wouldn’t do to him

Scrooge

McDuck or get fucked

Rudeus

I’m not rude

Dude

But I hold this sword like it’s glue

To stick to you

Trump

Trumpy Dumpy

Humpty

Puffy Dufffy

All the Queen’s men and King’s horses

Couldn’t put Trumpy back together

Bad Boys

Whatcha gonna do when they kill you?

Wachowski’s Brothers

In the Matrix

Nuttin’ but luvin

Sunshine (Johnny Cash)

I'll always love you and make you happy,

If you will only say the same.

But if you leave me and love another,

You'll regret it all some day:

Sooner than not the sun will be blue

Like the blue skies

But brighter

Oh Sky, Oh Sun

How are you

Like a hunny bun

I want to hold you but I can’t

Because you are so damn

Thanks

The truth is

The sun is where the fun

And my mom said not to

Let a day win

Without dinner or a chance to sing

Oh sunshine

Bald

Bald as an egg

Like Elton John

Just a dumb kid

Noosepaper

Money where my mouth is

The truth is this noosepaper

Is beckoning an end to me

The death of me

Put my money where my money is

Okay now it’s gone again

The noosepaper is where

I keep my money

Because it keeps my knowledge

Updates and news

Everything is there

Entertainment

Music

Horoscopes

Oh no horrorscopes

1,000,000

If I had a million dollars

I’d buy a damn museum

And call it hallmark

Wizard

We’re off to see the wizard

The wonderful wiard of balls

Flat Tire

Your attitude is like a flat tire

It doesn’t get you anywhere

Ok there calm down now

Jacob’s son of Baldey Air

Leopard

A leopard doesn’t change it’s spots

Ok bot

Tell me if you doubt it at all

Dot

Sausages

Sausage & Potatoes

Bubbles and Squeak

Bangers and Smash

Fuck your trash

Be-loved

If you cna’t be with the one you love

Be with the one you live with

Cookoo

One flew east

One flew west

One flew over the cuckoo’s nest

Cover

Always judge a book by its cover

Never judge a book by its merit

Only the picture that is under

The title and the description

Be at peace, young one

Light Sleeper

How well do I know you

Wel enough to stay away from you

How well can I sleep

Like a light sleeper

From a chandelier

Spend

Too spend or not to spend

To see or not see

To hear or not to hear

Be me for one day!

Saint Mass

There once was a man from Saint Mass

His balls were made of brass

He rubbed them together

And lightning shot out of his ass

Herey

I was here

Now you are not

Now you are here

And I am not

I was here

Now you are here

And I am not

Okay I forgot

Highlighting

I’m collecting highlighters

Mark my words

Eh and you’re a jerk

For the dirt

Mp3 Adapter

I am an adapter

Like em

So swim

The battery acid river

Shredded Wheat

Never eat shredded wheat

Or read sheep

Home

Home is wher eyou make it

I can’t keep it

Go home and makeup

Martin Scorsese or Quentin Tarantino

Weinstein you fraud

You a hack

Of ass

Wish Upon a Star

Oh my

You are

A shooting star

Above Mars

Or in a car

On the rise

Like an amazing ball of fire

So dire

Million Dollars

If I had a million dollars

I’d be a baller

Like a caller

With a butler

And fifty shoes

Of pairs and underwears

Dare?

Pen!

The pen is mightier than the sword

Unless you use it as a weapon

Second thought

The sword is mightier than the pen

Leather

A Leather jacket can’t be washed

Cows are out in the rain

Now explain that?

Darts

Smoking darts

Breaking hearts

Tell you what

You can fuck off

Or blow off

Or butt out

But don’t count me out

They may make yoyu fart

So break more hearts

Ducks

All your duck are in a row

Now you gotta fuck and roll

Party

There’s a party in my pants and

You’re not invited

Upstairs

I wanna go upstairs

It’s not fair

Do you care?

Last Call

Last call for alcohol

Tell your mom

She’s tall

Pull Out

When in doubt

Pull out

Or punch it out

Whichever is easier

Moon

Little boy blue and

The moon

Went to Sulu

Next to Zulu

Zoo

What do you do

When you live in a zoo

Run run run

Get on the road

And don’t stop until you’re old

Maybe you will get there

And get home

Tattoo

I got a tatto of a monkey on my side

Believe me ride

If you feel its hide

There’s a dick in my side

Ship

Shipped up

Shaped up

Make up

Break up

Goldilocks

This ones too hot

This pens too cold

You’re all alone

Or sold

Like a comfortable bed

For your head

This ones too hot

This ones too cold

You’re all alone

Or sold

Like a comfortable bed

It’s so relaxing

Pudding

If you don’t eat your pudding or stay in your seat

You can’t have any meat

Okay maybe a little cheese

One

One two

This dude is glue

Until you unglue

The dude

Publish

Publish or perish

I dare say cherish

New York

New York forks

Such a quark

Rain

Raining Pouring

The old man is snoring

Or is he boring?

Window

There’s a window

Better than a door

You make a better window than a door

Or widow?

Bus

The wheels on the bus go round and round

All through the city

Until you get to grasses green and shitty

Like a bus on the gritty

Till you go pass the pities

Worry

Worry or worry not

It’s still worry

Purry

Currie

Cigarette

Gimme gimme’s never get

Here’s a cigarette

Four

Four or five everytime

I lost it

Bottom out hollering

I don’t need any friends

I have a pen

All the pain I’ve caused

Cause I’m santa Clause

Penny

Find a penny

Pick it up

And all day long You’ll have bad luck

Unless your life

Is in a truck Because most definitely

Th rush

Is in the crush

Orange crush

Or a lush

Find a penny pick it up

And all day long you’ll have goodluck

Find a dime and all day long

You’ll have amazing luck

Like a duck

Put in your pocket

And lock it

McDonald

Old McDonald had a farm

Riding on a pony

Came to town and called it

His homie

All

All for 1 and 1 for all

All for em

All for halls

Now I gotta go

To the ball

To drink alcohol

Nursery Crimes

Knickers in a knot

Tell you what

I got

Your hot

Mouse

Trapped like mice

Dice

Twice

Nice to know you

Don’t wanna blow you

Macaroni

Mac N Cheese

Crap N Cheese

Chuckie Cheese

Eenie

Eenie meenie minie mo

Catch a dog

Tic tac toe

Catch a hog

And name it smog

Look at this drudge

Son of a mudge

Funeral

Late for my own funeral

Tune ya on

Till you get to nooneral

Bone

Dry as a bone

Dry as a lonestar

Hope you are

Completely from Mars

Right

Two Huongs don’t make a Huang

Tell your friends
I’m to blame

Right or huang

Arenge you glad

I didn’t say apple

Wait

Waiting on you hand and foot

Put your balls in your hood

And pull them out like you were good

A B C

A B C D F

All the way to Z

You missed a P

It’s running down your leg

Here

I was here

Now you are here

And I am not

Wrong

I’ve been saying it Houng the whole time

Hang out with your Huang out

Weeks

How long have you been in the States

A week or a day?

A weekday

Friday myday

Tuesday newday

Wednesday fendsday

Thursday her day

Saturday caturday

Sunday someday

Monday hungary

Friday My day

Tuesday New day

Wednesday Fendsday

Thursday Her Day

Saturday Caturday

Suney Done day

Monday Lunch day

Fly

Time keeps on tick tick

Ticking into the future

Fly

Time keeps on tick tick

Ticking into the future

Life

Here 4 lyfe

So give up the fight

I’ve counted about twice

Here for lyfe

So give up the fight
I’ve counted about twice

Dream

Row row row your boat

All the way down the hill

Tell your eyes are black and blue

Merrily merrily merrily

Life is a knife

Guessing game

Nothing but a guessing game

Like hates

Names change

Like a changeling

Space

Guessing Game

Nothing but a guessing game
Like hate

And names

Like a changeling

In space

Need

A friend in need

Is a friend indeed

So bleed

Motherfucka

Till you feel

Dalmations

101 dalmations

Simply blasphemy

Penny - twenty

All you have is twenty

Hold on to it

Honey

Find a penny

Pick it up

And all you got

Is a penny

Heat

If you can’t handle the heat

Stay out of your mom's kitchen

Good

Only the good die young

Yet your hung

Greasy

Keep it greasy so you go down

Easy simply cheesy

Papa

Papa’s got a brand new bag

You’re a hag

Heaven

You’ve got to go through hell

To get to heaven

Peter

Robbing Peter to pay Paul

Hey Saul

Pudding

If you don’t eat your pudding or stay in your seat

You can’t have any meat

Now take this cleaver

And sit in your seat

And beat it

Unless you can eat meat

You can’t have any pudding

Scram

Jackass

Ship

Ship up

Shape up

Make up

Break up

Food

Chicken pot pie and I don’t lie

Shepherd’s pie Shepherd’s cry

Tough

When the tough get going

The weak start rowing

All the way down the stream

Scream

Okay bleem

Cast

Dreamcast

Bleemcast

Again

Don’t pull a rabbit out of the hat

When the tough get going

The weak start rowing

Get

You only get what you put in

Do in

Till you screw in

Mark

I’m gonna get some markers

Mark my words

I’m going to get some markers

Mark my words

Let it all be absurd

Crazy huh

A little nuts eh

Or maybe it was a day

A day and a half

Mark my words

Girl

Bark

His bark was worse than his bite

Dyke

His bark was worse than his bite

Or was a megabyte

No really it was a scary night

Alight

Monkey

I have a tatto of a monkey on my side

Put your hand in my pocket and you can feel his hyde

That’s gross, this monkey has a tail as big as the other guy

Visit

How long have you been in the states?

A day or a week?

I said a weekend but he wrote a year

Put in

You only get what you put in

Until the nerd churns ya

Till the apple goose

Is picked

And flicked

Mealtime

Chicken Pot Pie and I don’t lie

Shepherd’s Pie or Shepherd’s cry

I lie

Okay maybe I didn’t lie

I was by your side

Long

Why the long face

Asking the horse

A horse in need

Is a horse indeed

Tell me if you see

These wrinkled features

Herey

Herey herey

Course in progress

See me see me

Till we go locus

Blood

You can’t get blood out of the stone

Just like you can’t get Mo

Out of the snow

Road

End of road

This is the end

Of the road

For you

So do what you do

And vamoose

Doubt

When in doubt

Die die die again

When in Rome

Lie lie lie again

Winner

Winner winner

Chicken dinner

Liver and onions

With a side of sour krout

Married

To your line

Ba ba black sheep

Tell me ain’t that cheap

Tub

Rub a dub dub

Two babies in the tub

Tell mom

She ain’t so bad

A little mad though

Roof

Roof roof the roof is on fire

Burn motherfucker

Fuck your rocker

Your a cocksuckers

Let the motherfucker burn

turn

Your a fucker

Suckers

Out n’ About

Out and about

This house

Is in doubt

Out and About

Out with a belt

Out and about

All the routes

1,2,3,4

Anymore

Get a whore

I’m a little trout

Hot Cross Buns

I’m a little teapot

Hot

Not

Cheese

Would you like some cheese

With that wine?

Dine

Fine

Okay what is mine again

Nine lives

Sulkirk

Some haymeat

And cannie eat

And some haymeat

That want it

But some haymeat

And some can eat

So let the Lord be thanketh

-Robbie Burns

Happy

Don’t worry be happy

Just dance

Laugh

Kiss goodbye

And die

-Bob Marley

Vegas

What happens in Vegas

Stays in Vegas

Okay Jesus

Row

Row row row your boat

Down the road

Downtown

And wearing a crown

On his ship of thieves

Don’t let me believe

Smelt

Smelt it dealth it

Yell it

Felch it

Lynch ya

Screw ya

Seeya later

Short n’ Sweet

Little bit of heat

So cheap

You need me

Short but sweet

Mail

Rain Sleet Hail Snow

Uphill both ways

Now you know

Don’t gotta show

Go get the mail

Snail

Hansel and Gretl

Take it as it is

A town full of people

So gross they see through ya

One and Done

One and done huh

Feel it in your gut

Two yet you

Look so sweet

I could give you

My suit

Tell you I knew

You a long time ago

Xmas Card

Time’s are tough

Time’s aer hard

Here’s your damn Christmas Card

Love

You can’t always choose the one you love

But you can screw the one you're with

Oompa Loompas

Oompa Loopma Doubly Dee

You see I peed

Be free

Holy Fuck

Holy fuck

I owe you a buck

Chuck

Friend

A friend in need

Is a friend with weed

Bed

You mde your bed

So let it get to your head

Worm

Early bird gets the worm

Now learn

You silly turd

Rain

It’s raining it’s pouring

This man is boring

Rain rain go away

Come back next day

Today

Here today gone tomorrow

Fuck I’m bothered

Bunny

Quick quick as a bunny

Funny

Happy bunny happy hunny

Wife

Happy wife happy life

Aight

Smokey

Smokey the bear says

Only you can burn your house down

He’s round

Holy Smokie

Choly Hokie

Worry

Worry or worry not

You’re in a hurry

Milk

Don’t cry over spilt milk

Okay nesquiilk

God

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The power to change the things I can

And the wisdom to drink a beer

Birthday

Happy Birthday to you

And may you live to 102

And drink beer

Till you are drunk like a monk

Happy Birthday to you

Hey Hey

Ho Ho

This guys got to go

McDonald

Old McDonald had a farm

Oink oink oink oink

Rub

Rub a dub dub

Thanks for the love

And doves

Don’t

Don’t cry over spilt coffee

Just go and get a little toffee

Curb

Flip him to the curb

Unless he look like McJagr

Wagging his tail

Like he licked a curb

Wailing …

Choo

Choo choo choosey

Joke

If girls with big boobs

Worked at hooters

Where do girl with one leg work

Across the street at Ihop

Roses

Ring around the roses

Pocket full of poses

Husha husha

We all go around

Down

Then out

For the count

Sea-shells

Sea shells sea shells

By the seeashore

Tell me if I’m sore

Or bored

Of these nurseries

Nope just cursory

He sells sea shells

By the seashore

And she sells

T-showels

By the old orr

ABCDEF

All the way to Z

You missed a P

It’s running down your leg

Cya

Cya wouldn’t wanna be ya

Make me say ha

Cya

Barney

Barney Rubble

Trouble

Okay double

Or nottin

Simply dottin

Bubblegum

Chewing gum is really gross

Chewing gum I hate the most

Taken from Willy Wonka

From the movie Charlie and the Chocolate factory

Only tell ya that it’s gross

So eat chocolate!

1234

Who do you appreciate more

Me or a snore?

Coconuts

I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts

Pick one up

Cut it in half and Drink it all up

So…

Put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up

And drink like you have to sing

I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts

Diddlydee

There they are standing in a row

One two three

Big ones small ones

Some as big as your head

Don’t get ahead of yourself

Because you are red

I drink them like gatorade

Down the hatchet

At ya

Working Hard

Working hard or hardly working

Maybe I’m a jerk

And you’re gerkins

Peter

Peter Peter

Bumpkin eater

Nothing

Nothing is better than something

Okay mink?

All

All for 1 and 1 for all

If we go to the other mall

Will they call?

Negative

Negativity is like a bad wheel

You can’t get anywhere until you change it

Ya change that

Down

If we go down

We go down together

Heather

Movies

Pleae be kind

Please rewind

Bind me to this wonderful windchime

Would, should, could

I wouldn’t

I shouldn’t

I couldn’t

Dixie baby

2 o’ Clock

2 O’ Clock

Is close to noon

Good

You?

Snow Kidding

Gimme gimme’s never get

Haven’t you any manners yet?

Line Cuts

No cuts

No butts

And no coconuts

April Showers

April showers

Bring May flowers

Doubt your powder

Will make you

Doubt a little faster

Roling Stone

A rolling stone

Gathers no moss

Randy Moss

Goss

God or above

I believed in you

You were not true

Let me be please

God minds his own business

It doesn’t go up and down

He’s all around

Stop playing me

God doesn’t play games

And you the same

Stop pretending to be God

Way up there

With the holy Qu’ran

There is only one God

All others

Are shudders

False and plastic

Unfair to the last dip

If you like a God

You only have a piece of him

And you will not get a piece of me

I’ll tell you again there is only one

So other

All others died

And whether or not death

Stops me

Satan is no

God

God is love and you love to saveur

Mark

Keep it on target

Chant it

Rename it

Keep it pinned on

Like words on a ring

Keep it dark

The words of Mark

Are quit stark

Mark it

Keep is on target

Chart it

Record it

Keep it pinned on

Like words on a song

Keep it dark

The words of Mark

Are quite stark

Ripped

I got ripped

I got chipped

I got missed

Sorry you didn’t see

The signs

No doggers here

Only doers

Don’t rag on me

For being impatient

My name is written on the walls

Don’t tell me I’m too tall

Just tell me I won’t fall

Easy Peezie

Japanesie

Squeezy Meazy

Back Spine

Step on a crack and break your back

Step on a line and break your spine

Dazzle

If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance

Baffle them with bullshit

Beyond Reproach

Don’t compare yourself to others or you’ll only set yourself up

For heartache

Easy Peesy Japanese-y

Opinion

Opinions are like assholes

Everyone’s got one

And none is left alone

To their soul

Einstein

If you don’t like Einstein

You don’t like anything

Okay everything

Tomorrow

A horse with no name

Is like the sun with no shame

The sun will come out tomorrow

Mine

I like what is mine

What is mine I like

Ginger

A ginger man has what he has

A heart don’t change it spots

Just like a leopard

If you don’t like Einstein, you don’t like anything

We are Scientists

A Leopard doesn’t change it spots

Opinions are like assholes eveyrone’s got one and most don’t like them

Mansion

1,2,3,4

Whatever anymore

Out n’ About

Luigi’s Mansions B-2

Now

Step on a crack breka your back

Step on a line break your spine

Never stop

Live you’ll body motive

Sit Down Be Humble

I am here

You are not

Now I am not here and you are

CooCoo

One Flew east

One flew west

One flew over the cuckoo’s nest

Women

Why are women like hurricanes

They come on hot and wet and take the car with them

Game

Got this game hemmed up like an automobile

Don’t care over spilt milk

Ignoite the fight

Pull the wool over your face

A Magical Flute

Magical Flautist

Jack and Hill

Ignite right tight Knight

Sensical dialect

Dinner Bar

We know its there we just don’t know where

They’re the ones with the guns

Wake up Wake up

It’s the first day of the month

Digital Loonie

Damn the man

Sam I am

Yellow Pool

If You Sprinkle When You Tinkle Please be a Sweetie & Wipe The seatie! - Funny Bathroom Loo Sign

News

No news ain’t no good news

Blake’s Blatant Poetry

Glass

So much glass

Like grass

Glasses

And ashes

Share Share

Ya, you have problems

I do too

Ya I scare ya

Like Michael Myers on a Monday

Halloween SUnday

The Bagger is coming

All the way running

So fast you could be grinning

Wiht your bag of candy

Handy

Len

Lenny not me a penny

With a little letter

Entitled here a better debt

Same it or a debbie

Because your fun

Here of helly

Fellow

East Coast Cop

Walk around

Dock around

Tell me how

Are you ready for a munchkin up your arm

Oh no I want to solo

Oh go oh

I go to row

You hoe

You Bozo

Jimbo

Oh yo

It’s over

4 Chains

4 chains the same

Rip em out like

Names

So crazed

Some of this

Some of that

Little glat

Is all that has

Got phat

Read me see me wouldn’t wanna beat me

Ballgame

Out of Knight

Out of others

Prying others

Take me back to the ball game

Hokey Pokey

You do the hokey pokey

And fit yourself upside down

Ring

The ring is a wizards bel’d

How did it pelt?

When I get back up

I’ll tell you what

The world is up

Giant

Fee Fye Foe

Fum,

I smell the scent of a placenta

Submarine

We all live in a yellow submarine

But your clean

And I dream

Go be stuck in a yellow submarine

because

We All live in a yellow submarine

Sk8

Sk8 sk8

Run as fast as you can

I’m the principal man

Chicken

Chicken chicken

Liver dinner

Drink

Don’t overthink it

If it’s cold

Drink it

I and E

I before E except before C

And sounded like A

Neighbouring Way

Castle

Shivvy me Timmers

I’m the King of the Castle

I’m a fucking asshole

Whatcha gonna do

Money clothes and hoes

Bad boys

Whatcha gonna do when they come for you

Poetries

Novelties

Revolving around

Ever so quietly

Bad boys

World of Warcraft

Be playing till Sunday

Eenie meenie Miney Moe

Who’s the head toe?

Go Green

I count

You count

We all count

Think Pink

Think like you miss

Check

Decks

Think hard

Colour pink

Tears Scream

Tears scream out but I don't see

Get Laid Get Paid

Don't overthink it

If it's cold

Drink it

Appy

I’m not appy

Not clappy

Crabby

But I don’t want to be me

Okay, gee?

Violence/Kindness

Random acts of violence

Random acts of kindness

Winnie

Winnie the Pot

Christopher Wallce

Biggie Smalls

Talls

And Halls

Boat

Row row row your boat

I don’t wanna be me no moat

Try more

Die more

Buy more

Bit

She’s so hot

I’m not

Smoking

Smoking darts, breaking hearts

Like a millions farts

Apple

An Apple a day keeps the culprit away

Green

Green is mean

Dear

Monkey

Money see monkey done

Chilling like a Krillin

Cya

See you later

Refrigerator

Repetition makes an impression

In the Kitchen

Silly Grillin

Or stay Krillin

Reps

Repetitions makes impressions

Just guessing

Oh No

Uh Oh Spagrettios

Hold your hand

Because I can

3-1

Three minus two

Is one

All I can think of is none

Ryan

Shavings Ryan’s Privates

Diet

Cry it

Till I bleed

In the streets

For Ryan’s Privates

Jake

Jake the Snake

Eating a rabbit full of cake

Monkey See ya

Monkey do ya

Monkey poo ya

Paper

I just wanna rape you

Give me the paper

Jack

Jack smoked crack

Went to the top of the bean stock

Smoked weed and Jill came tumbling after

Ugachuck

1,2,3,4

Who is more

5,6,7,8,

It’s my mate

Finders

Finders Keepers

Loster are Meaner

Rain Sleet Snow Ice

Had to think twice

Occupy a chair

In there

Repetition

Repetition makes an impression

Monkey see Monkey doo

Chillin like a villain

Snow kidding

Gimme’s Gimme’s never get

Haven’t you any manners yet

2 oclock noon

Thanks

Noon your good

More crews

Line cuts

Not cuts

No buts

And no coconuts

All for 1

All for 1 and 1 for all

Halt it

Balls it

All for 1 unless you call

You got the whole

World in your hands

Bands

All for 1

Hands candle man.

I surrender to thes mistakes

The best of me is tree told

The sound of whispers

The swaing of mistletoe

Is a low low

Heavy isgh and toll like the words of movement

I’ll tell you is concrete like the racks that fill

Your socks and feet

I’ll forever leave this to grow

Creatures

To more creatures at my door.

IT began to rain

Like a thunder of water

Being poured down onto the dirty ground

Dell

Bells

Toss the bell

Toll the tells

Logout

What to cry about

Out and about

Like a book

On a shelf

Little Liars

Finders keeps

Bleeting

Meaning

Losers reaping

The karma of seeking

Boxing Championships

Fight Night

Light fight

Die Fighter

Might ficht

Croches fight

Mikey fight

Happy fight

Ego Fight

Ergo fight

Quad em Demostradum

Puker

Hold the faces

Aces

Spaces

Wish

I wish upon a star
Forever Life

Outcome letters

Gomer Pule

Life o the lost

Rolling Stones

A rolling stone gatehrs no moss

Randy Moss

Gossip

Chequing

Debts and chequting

Stealing and reeling

Finders keeping

Losers feeling

Sad

Sad?

Like a clown sad?

Bryan

Brian trying

Crtubg dying

I’m again lying

Spag

Uh Oh

Spaghettios

Hold your hand

Caz’ I can

Paper

I don’t want the paper

I just wanna rape ya

Cat

The cat came back

And lost his hat

The very next day

He ate a rat

He came back

And sat

On the dog’s lap

Point

Help someone in the joint

Get the point?

Now you got roll a joint

Creme

This native capsome cream

Ain’t appreciating mean

3 dressed up as a 9

Out and a belt

Cafeine Nicotin and THC

The latest and the greatest

Jack

Jack smoked crack

Went to the top of the bean stock

Smoked weed and Jill came tumbling after

Mellow

Yellow

Mellow

Take a pillow

Hello

Thievers

Stealers

Like a band of wheelers

Cyclokeepers

Yellow Mellow Pillows Hello

Dell Bell Mellow Hell

Sound and Pound

Sound like a pound

Like I said, Life is a box of chocolates

You don’t know which one will hit you

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